Turkish Salaam!

24 Dec

New Years = New Life?

Don’t mind if I do.

I’m less than a week away from moving, far-far away, from all my family and friends; to explore a new world, a new language, and a new lifestyle! 🙂 What words can I use to elaborate on how I feel? Well, I don’t think there is words.

But, let me try…..

When I started packing my apartment.. At first, it was an indifferent feeling… But the more and more stuff I packed up–the more I thought about how much I have accumulated from just June.. (On a semi-UN-related side note, I solemnly vow to never acquire so much “[in]valuables” again, I just stumbled upon random knick-knacks that I thought would be useful; but I never seemed to find use or good use for most everything..) It also made me think… That I have a lot of life in such a little space.. Maybe I’m just a hoarder, who knows… But it got me thinking; I’m going to have to pack my life into 3 bags. Three bags. How do I chose what’s most important to me? I want to bring everything, I want it all.. I can’t bring my old life in hopes of starting a new life. Then again, why do I want to throw away my old life; it was a good life. Sure, I had my ups and downs; but overall I loved most every minute of it. Soon it’ll be gone.. Gone, forever? Or just gone for the next year or two. Maybe I’ll move on, start a new life.. Forget about all the things I left behind in the USA.

Okay, okay.. I get it, you all think it’s like a Pier1 floor lamp, a pink princess broom, and a couple souvenir t-shirts. Maybe, physically. That’s what’s being left behind, I think it’s more of a mental and emotional game, really.

What should I expect? I’m moving to a place where I don’t know the language or any people. And I’ll be light years away from all of my family.

I’m excited though.. Mixed emotions. Sigh…

Merry [Insert Your Celebrated Holiday Here] !

Here It Is…

21 Nov

Two blog posts in two days?  Wow… I am getting back into the swing of things now–aren’t  I?

 

Anywho, I am convinced I am being followed by camera men and my life is being shown as some reality TV show.

 

Yes, just like the Truman Show!

 

Everywhere I go lately, random people at the most random times come up to me and say “Hey!  How are you doing today? or How have you been?  or What are you doing today?”  And they’re super friendly with it too..

 

Umm, excuse me psycho creeper.

 

………..Ruuuuuns…………

 

No, no! Nothing is wrong with me…. I’m perfectly fine, function-able, all organs intact. I know it’s 3:15 AM.. But it’s true.  I am being stalked, recorded, and exploited on national television for the entertainment of the petty people!

 

AND I’M NOT EVEN PAID

Top 100 Lies… ish

19 Nov

I saw this trending on twitter.. Let me see if I can do this..

  • “No , you don’t look fat”
  • “Sorry, my mom said I can’t go”
  • “It’s okay, I’m not mad at you”
  • LOL
  • “No sorry, That was my last cigarette”
  • “No I don’t have any cigarettes, I bummed this off of someone.”
  • “That was my last piece of gum”
  • “Of course we used a condom!”
  • “That’s what She said”
  • “We just sold the last one 20 minutes ago”
  • “I don’t know what you’re talking about”
  • “No, I didn’t steal Johnny’s cookies”
  • “Oh hey, I gotta get off the phone, my phone is about to die”
  • “Oh, sorry. My phone was dead”
  • “Oh, I must have been asleep”
  • “I didn’t come to school because I was sick”
  • “I’m not drunk”
  • “I know how to handle alcohol”
  • (Back in the ‘90’s) JCPenny’s Saturday One-Day Only Sale!
  • “I’m not normally like this”
  • “I’m more attracted to personality”
  • “I don’t like drama”
  • “You did great!”
  • “Officer, I didn’t see the stop sign”
  • “Officer, I was only going 55”
  • “Sorry, I couldn’t find a babysitter”
  • “Your children are beautiful”
  • “Education is the most important thing in life”
  • “The check is in the mail.”
  • “I only have a penny to my name!”
  • “I’ve never felt this way before”
  • “I don’t know what happened, He just broke up with me”
  • “I’ll call you”
  • “I’ve got to work late at the office tonight!”
  • “I’ll be home in 20 minutes”
  • “I could never lie to you”
  • “We’ll split all the household chores 50/50”
  • “I don’t masturbate”
  • “Of course I’m listening to what you’re saying!”
  • “I can guarantee you that I am not the father!”
  • “I don’t ‘kiss’ on the first day”
  • “I’m allergic to latex”
  • “All my kids got the same baby daddy” said the Puerto Rican
  • “I only weigh 115 lbs”
  • “I got stuck in traffic”
  • “The bus was running late”
  • “The subway was being held back”
  • “No, I didn’t throw it away”
  • “Your chances of being sent into the combat zone are slim to none”
  • “I love you”
  • “No, I didn’t sleep with your best friend”
  • “I just got checked for STD’s last week”
  • “Big Brother is NOT watching you”
  • “There is nothing at Area 51”
  • “I’m 10 inches”
  • “They’re real!”
  • “I’m not jealous”
  • “Yeaah, I never get on Facebook anymore!”
  • “Let me call you back”
  • Read all the ‘Terms and Conditions’
  • “I called you, but it went straight to voicemail”
  • “It’s my natural hair color!”
  • “Bitch, this ain’t a weave, this my real hurr”
  • “We only lost cause they cheated!”
  • “Professor, I emailed you my homework”
  • “I’ll pay you right back!”
  • “I’m on a diet!”
  • “Trust me, I can keep a secret!”
  • “I fell asleep before you called”

Okaaaaay.. My brain hurts.. I can’t think of 100 lies.. But through googling and my knowledge.. This is a pretty accurate list.

Must Read!

22 Oct

People were sharing this on facebook.. It’s a super sad story 😥 Read it!

 

Married or not… you should read this.
Marriage.

“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed – dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.

So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”

Life Is Not Fair

14 Oct

Do you remember when you would tattle on your siblings? And your parents would tell you “Don’t worry about anybody but yourself” and in the very same day if you wouldn’t share with your siblings your parents would say “You’re so selfish! You don’t care about anyone but yourself!”

*scratches head*

Uhhhh… sorry?… I thought you told me to only care about myself….

I remember this one time, I had to be about 7 years old, my mom had purchased a YoYo for my little sister because my sister had an “ear infection” (Which turned out to be nothing. Just water stuck in her ear from swimming…) *rolls eyes*

Anywho, I wanted a YoYo and my mother said “NO!”

and I said “Oh please mommy! Oh please mommy! Pleaaaase!!! Puhhleeeeaaaaase! Please please! I’ll never ask for anything again!”

“No! No! No! You don’t need another toy”

“Mommy! That’s not fair!”

“Life isn’t fair! So get over it!”

Ppphhbbbt… That very same evening i gathered up all my allowance quarters to purchase an ice cream cone from the ice cream truck.

I hear the music, I grab my quarters, and I run. The ice cream truck is here! The ice cream truck is here! :).. I get my ice cream cone and I sit on the stairs outside of my house and joyously start licking away at my ice cream cone.

Oh how the happiness was short lived! Moments later my mother comes out and ask me “why didn’t you get your sister an ice cream cone?”

Well why would I!? Are you out of your mind? It was my hard earned 75 cents! Not hers!!!

My mother had the audacity to say to me, “well that’s not fair!” and I yelled back “LIFE’S NOT FAIR!”

Needless to say, I was one confused, grounded, young lady.

To be continued………

Ugly Sweater!

2 Oct

I am blogging..
What should I be doing?
My “40” page term papers!.. Tehehe..

Oh well..

It don’ t mean a thing if you ain’t got that swing..

I don’t know what I’m doing or what I’m saying.. I just need to start blogging more… It’s like my personal therapist.. Except, I don’t have to pay $300/hr for someone to listen to my problems……… But I have people that actual take time out of their days to read my problems. YOU FOOLS! Get a life! I’m joking, I’m joking.. Please read.. I love having some attention 😀

I promise… I’ll blog later, I promise… I promise.. I promise..

I love you all 😀

Life..Love.. It All Sucks.

27 Sep

I don’t know what it is with me and men…  I get the man of my dreams, the man I couldn’t even dream of actually, and I break up with him “just because”.  Then it’s on to the next one, and the next one and the next one.  When will it end?  When will I just find somebody that I want to be with “forever”… I know I’m young and I have time… Does that mean I can just “do” whatever?  Not really, modern day people call girls that “just wanna have fun” these uncouth-like names.  Slut, whore, tramp, hussy, etc, etc.    This dating game as a whole is outlandish; We have to go through all these stages, arduous, tedious, aggravating, frustrating, bothersome stages.  And the relationship just keeps getting more and more and more complex, to the point where it’s a more (moor-ay, the psychological/sociological term) not to know ever intricate detail about your significant other. 

You know that period when you’re dating someone and things aren’t awkward anymore but you’re not so comfortable with each other either?  Why can’t an entire relationship be like that.  Hell, why do we need relationships?  Just because that’s what your “bible” says?  Why do people shape their life around this book?  Apparently, the only acceptable way of life is copying other’s ways of life, like in the bible.  In the bible, if Adam fucked Steve, and Joseph left Mary, and Moses had 9 wives… then then it would be acceptable to have gay people, to be a single mother, to be a player. 

Plus, women need multiple men anyways.  I’ll be the first to admit, women are NOT satisfied.  We need more and more and more.  Why not more men?  I’ll tell you why.. Jezebel.. you bible thumpers know what I mean.  A man might be good in one department and another man in another department and on and on and on… yada yada yaaa….. Whatever. It’s wrong. 

Screw you world, why must you be so complicated?

Siiiiiiiiiiiiigh…….. I still love you..